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Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Hadees - * visit for details - http://aydnajimudeen.blogspot.in/

Reported by Usamah bin Zaid (RA): Messenger of Allah (peace be upon
him) said, "A man will be brought on the Day of Resurrection and will
be cast into Hell, and his intestines will pour forth and he will go
round them as a donkey goes round a millstone. The inmates of Hell
will gather round him and say: `What has happened to you, O so-and-so?
Were you not enjoining us to do good and forbidding us to do evil?' He
will reply: `I was enjoining you to do good, but was not doing it
myself; and I was forbidding you to do evil, but was doing it myself".
[Bukhari & Muslim]

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Islamic Articles, - Daughters - A Blessing - details at http://aydnajimudeen.blogspot.com

Allaah Almighty says (what means): "To Allah belongs the dominion of
the heavens and the earth; He creates what He wills. He gives to whom
He wills female [children], and He gives to whom He wills males. Or He
makes them [both] males and females, and He renders whom He wills
barren. Indeed, He is Knowing and Competent." [Quran 49:50] Allah is
the One, based on His ultimate wisdom, who grants whomever He wills
sons and daughters; He grants sons only to whomever He wills, and
grants daughters only to whomever He wills, and if He so wills, He
makes whomever He wills infertile.
We notice in the above verse that the mention of daughters preceded
that of sons, and the scholars commented on this saying: "This is to
hearten daughters and encourage kindness towards them, because many
fathers feel burdened by receiving a daughter. The common practice of
the people during the pre-Islamic era was to hate receiving daughters,
to the extent that they would bury them alive; therefore, it is as if
Allah is saying to people: `This inferior child in your estimation
takes precedence in My scale.' He also mentions daughters first to
indicate their weakness, and that they are therefore more deserving of
care and attention."
Such honouring of daughters is the complete opposite of how people
were accustomed to dealing with females in the pre-Islamic era, when
they would degrade women and consider them a part of their wealth, and
if news of a baby girl would come to any of them, it would be as if he
was hit by a thunderstorm; Allaah says (what means): which means: "And
when one of them is informed of [the birth of] a female, his face
becomes dark, and he suppresses grief. He hides himself from the
people because of the ill of which he has been informed. Should he
keep it in humiliation or bury it in the ground? Unquestionably, evil
is what they decide." [Quran 58:59]
It is said that some enemies of Qays ibn 'Aasim At-Tameemi, who was a
pre-Islamic Arab, attacked his premises and captured his daughter.
Later, one of these enemies married her. After some time, the clan of
Qays and that of his enemies reconciled, so they gave this daughter of
his the freedom to go back to her father or remain with her husband,
and she preferred to stay with her husband. At that point, Qays took a
pledge upon himself to bury alive any new daughter that he would
receive, and the Arabs imitated him after that. It was, therefore,
this man who introduced this evil practice, and thus he will shoulder
his own sin as well as the sin of all those who did it thereafter.
One of the companions who had killed his daughter in the era that
preceded Islam narrated his story: "We would worship idols in the
pre-Islamic era and kill our daughters. I had a daughter, who, when
she was old enough to comprehend and talk, would rejoice whenever she
saw me and would immediately respond. One day, I called her and told
her to follow me, so she did, until we reached a well that belonged to
my tribe. I then took her by her hand and threw her in the well, and
the last thing I heard her cry was: 'O father! O father!'"
(Ad-Daarimi)
During the era that preceded Islam, there were two methods that people
used to kill their daughters:
· At the time of the delivery of the child, a man would order his wife
to give birth next to a hole dug in the ground; if the newborn was a
male, she would return home with him, otherwise, she would throw her
into the pit and bury her alive, or:
· When the daughter reached six years of age, the man would tell his
wife to adorn and perfume her, then he would take her to a well in the
desert and tell her to look down into the well; when she would do
this, he would push her into it from behind.
There were some men among these people who would forbid such acts,
such as Sa'sa'ah ibn Naajiyah At-Tameemi, who would go to those
attempting to kill their daughter offering money to ransom their
lives.
There are people nowadays who share these same pre-Islamic beliefs; if
they are granted only girls, which is of course something decreed only
by Allah, they become angry, discontent and grieved.
With the advent of Islam, the darkness of that era vanished and Allah
enjoined kindness, love and compassion towards girls. Taking good care
of girls was encouraged, as was giving them special attention in the
process of their upbringing. In fact, Islam has designated a special
reward for raising them that is not granted for raising sons. Anas
reported that the Prophet said: "He who raises two daughters until
their puberty will be with me in Paradise like this", and he
symbolized the proximity by showing two of his fingers with a slight
gap between them." (Muslim)
`Aa'ishah(ra) related: "A woman by the name of Jameelah came to me
with her two daughters. She asked me for charity but found nothing
with me except a date, which I gave her. She divided it between her
two daughters and ate nothing herself; then, she got up and left.
After this, the Messenger of Allah came, so I narrated this story to
him; he said: "He who is involved (in the responsibility) of
(nurturing) daughters and is generous to them, will have them as a
fortification for himself against the Hellfire." (Al-Bukhari &
Muslim).
In another narration of this incident, `Aa'ishah (ra) related: "A poor
woman came to me with her two daughters. I gave her three dates; she
gave each of them a date and was about to eat the third one when one
of her daughters asked her for it, so she divided it between her two
daughters and ate nothing herself, and I liked what she did. After
this, the Messenger of Allaah came, so I told him what she did, and he
said: 'Allaah obligated Paradise for her due to this date, and (also)
freed her from Hell.'"(Muslim)
Pay close attention to wording of the following narration: the Prophet
said: "He who is tested by (the guardianship) of daughters...." Why did
he use the word: "...tested..."? He said it because raising them is a
responsibility and a test from Allaah to see how His slave would act:
Will he be kind to them? Will he raise them correctly?
The nature of this responsibility was further clarified in other
narrations, such as: "If he patiently feeds them and endows them with
clothing ..." (Ibn Majah)., and: "...Provides for them and marries them
off..." (At-Tabarani)., and: "...Properly raises them and fears Allah in
the manner in which he deals with them." (At-Tirmithi)
This is what is required when dealing with daughters: kindness, which
results in Paradise, as the Prophet(saw) said: "Whoever Allah has
given two daughters and is kind towards them, will have them as a
reason for him to be admitted into Paradise." And: "Whoever Allah has
given three daughters and he perseveres through raising them, will
have them as a shield for him from the Hellfire on the Day of
Resurrection."
A daughter is a great bounty and an honour granted by Allah, Hasan
(ra) said: "Girls are a source of reward and sons are a blessing;
rewards are in one's favour (on the Day of Judgement) whereas one will
be held accountable for blessings."
Thus, it is incorrect to believe that one has been humiliated by being
granted a girl; rather it is an honour, a bounty and a gate towards
Paradise. Daughters are a greate responsibility to rear, and entail
greater expenditure, and this is why the reward for raising them
correctly is greater than that for a son.
Once, one of the leaders of the believers was receiving people when a
small daughter of his entered the room, so he kissed her; a Bedouin
was also in attendance and saw this, so he mentioned daughters in a
very evil manner. A wise man who was also present witnessed all of
this and therefore said: "O leader of the believers! Do not listen to
him. I swear by Allaah, that it is they (i.e., girls) who stay up to
care for the sick in the family, who show mercy towards the elders,
and who stand next to men during hardships."
A man was granted a baby girl, so he became angry and isolated himself
from his wife for a long time, and after few months, he overheard his
wife reciting the verse (which means): "...But perhaps you hate a thing
and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for
you..." [Quran 2:216]
How many girls have been far more merciful and beneficial to their
parents than their brothers? How many times has a son been a source of
grief for his parents, to the point that they wished he was never
born?
Why do we raise this topic now? It is due to the vicious attacks on
the Muslims under the pretext of defending 'women's rights' which is
in reality an evil attempt to play on the emotions of women so that
they will become rebellious towards their fathers and husbands, and to
encourage them to leave their homes and demand their 'freedom'. This
is a gate towards evil and immorality which gradually attracts women
and then traps them in prohibitions. One cause of girls falling into
this is people neglecting their daughters and undermining their
rights, which makes them easily fall into the traps of the
hypocritical writers and columnists, male and female, who wish to see
corruption prevail.
It is enough of an honour for girls that the Prophets may Allah exalt
their mention, had daughters and that most of the children of our
beloved Prophet(saw) were daughters, namely: Zaynab(ra), Ruqayyah(ra),
Umm Kalthoom(ra) and Fatimah (ra) .

Islamic Articles, - Easy tips to a sound upbringing - details at http://aydnajimudeen.blogspot.com

The best way to discipline your children is to teach and guide them,
more than obliging them to be disciplined. The process of improving a
child's behavior is an educational, not a punitive process. In this
case, you should prefer a smile to frowning, a calm voice to shouting
and a reward to punishment.
In this article, we offer you thirteen tips that will significantly
affect your methodology while you change your child's behavior. These
thirteen tips will form a new atmosphere for discipline making it an
easy matter. However, you should listen to, respond and consider every
tip.
First: Be a good example:
Your child is watching you continuously and he absorbs the way you
face frustration, your behavior while you are angry, the extent of
your truthfulness, honesty, generosity, morals, and so on. Hence, it
would be easier to change your child's behavior if you are his
role-model in doing what you order him to do. It should be known that
you cannot give what you do not have.
Second: Encourage efficiency:
According to experts,"Self-confidence is a good cornerstone for
self-control."When you praise your child's good behavior, you build
his self-confidence. Such self-confidence will help you a great deal
in improving his bad behavior.
Third: Teach your child social skills:
Getting the child accustomed to good social manners at a young age
will save a lot of effort when he gets older. So, from now teach him
to seek permission before entering others' rooms, to say"Jazaak
Allaahu Khayran(May Allaah reward you)" to anyone who does him a
favor, to kiss his parents' hands, to visit his relatives, and to help
his mother with the housework. Every effort that you exert with a
young child will be a great asset helping you to change his bad
behavior when he gets older.
Fourth: Give your child authority to an extent that is proportional to his age:
The more you find ways to encourage independence, the more you save a
lot of time in the future. You should teach your child to make his own
decisions, for example, to choose his own clothes and to buy his own
things. The child who has some kind of authority will control himself
more and will be more capable of changing his behavior.
Fifth: Charge with responsibilities:
Many parents do not entrust tasks to their children because they feel
that it is easier to do them themselves or they do not want to
overburden their children. However, this attitude should be changed
and the child should be encouraged to participate in the housework and
to help his father at work. This should take place after teaching and
training the child to do so in order not to feel a failure. The child
who shoulders responsibility at a young age will be more able to
change his own bad behavior.
Sixth: First attract their attention:
Your children may notice that you talk, but if they do not pay
attention to your words, they will not respond. Therefore, your first
step is to be keen on attracting their attention.
-Go to the room to speak directly to your child.
-Be keen on visual communication which requires flexibility to be on
the same level of the child.
-Your demands should be simple and your explanation should be easy and
clear to understand.
Seventh: Look for other means of rejection:
The child usually turns a deaf ear to everything that he does not like
to hear. This means that the more interesting your speech is, the
greater your chance is to gain their attention.
-Instead of telling the child,"Stop shouting",you should say,"Please,
speak in your normal voice."
-Instead of saying to the child,"Stop throwing the ball inside the
house", you should say,"Take the ball and play outside".
Guiding the child in a positive way will save you from direct
confrontation related to his behavior. It will also give the child a
space to choose. You should not say to him,"Do not play
football";rather, you should say,"Do not play football here."
Eighth: Set limits:
Some parents fear setting limits thinking doing so will weaken the
child's personality. However, when you spend some time with children
who have no limits, you will immediately realize the importance and
positive effect of this approach on the child.
Ninth: Anticipate the situation and deal with it before it takes place:
For instance, if your child insists on having everything he wants from
the toy store, then, you need to go there without accompanying him
until he gets older. It is wise to avoid the development of some bad
attitudes in our children.
Tenth: Setting punishments:
The best way to indicate your dissatisfaction with any bad behavior is
to set punishments. For example, you may say,"If you do not go on
time, you will not be able to go to the picnic","If you beat your
young sister, you will not get your pocket money",and so on.
Eleventh: Be flexible and ready to negotiate if necessary:
Flexibility in upbringing means having sufficient wisdom that does not
drive the parent to ask the child to immediately do his homework after
returning from a hard day at school. In this situation, the parent
should say,"I think you should have some rest now. I will wake you up
after you have rested."
Twelfth: Using the method of rewards:
Reward is different from bribes.
A bribe is to make a previous agreement with the child, for example,
to have a certain amount of money in order not to raise his voice in
the market.
A reward is to give the child a reward in return for his polite
behavior all the day.
Giving rewards enhances good morals and creates a new atmosphere. So,
you should not forget to use it as a successful means of upbringing.
Thirteenth: Be firm on principle:
You should mind what you say and adhere to it. In this way, the child
will understand that you are serious. This will save a lot of your
efforts. Firmness on principles is the basis according to which you
can bring up your child. If you can set some rules and behavior to be
followed inside the family, you will grant your child the starting
point according to which he can make his own decisions.

Islamic Articles, - Love Her...details at http://aydnajimudeen.blogspot.com

Love her .when she sips on your coffee or tea. She only wants to make
Sure it tastes just right for you.
Love her when she "pushes" you to pray. She wants to be with you in
Jannah (Paradise).
Love her when she asks you to play with the kids. She did not "make"
them on her own.
Love her when she is jealous. Out of all the men she can have, she chose you
Love her when she has annoying little habits that drives you nuts. You
Have them too.
Love her when her cooking is bad. She tries.
Love her when she looks disheveled in the morning. She always grooms
herself up again.
Love her when she asks to help with the kids homework. She only wants
you to be part of the home.
Love her when she asks if she looks fat. Your opinion counts, so
Tell her she's beautiful.
Love her when she looks beautiful. She's yours so appreciate her.
Love her when she spends hours to get ready. She only wants to look
her best for you.
Love her when she buys you gifts you don't like. Smile and tell her
it's what you've always wanted.
Love her.when she has developed a bad habit. You have many more and
With wisdom and politeness you have all the time to help her change.
Love her when she cries for absolutely nothing. Don't ask, tell her
Its going to be okay.
Love her.when she suffers from PMS. Buy chocolate, rub her feet and
back and just chat to her.
Love her.when whatever you do is not pleasing. It happens and will pass.
Love her.when she stains your clothes. You needed a new thobe (kurta) anyway
Love her when she tells you how to drive. She only wants you to be safe.
Love her when she argues. She only wants to make things right for both of you.
Love her she is yours. You don't need any other special reason!!!!
All this forms part of a Woman's Character. Women are part of your
Life and should be treated as the Queen.
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) advised concerning the
Woman: treat the women well. The best of you are those who are the
best in the treatment of their wives.
No one honours the woman except an honorable man. And no one
Humiliates her or holds her in contempt except one who is evil, vile,
Wicked and depraved. Don't wait for that special occasion, take time
Now to make her feel Special in Every Way